The Unknown Can Be Scary
"Courage isn't the lack of fear. It's realizing you're afraid and saying 'fuck it, I'm doing this anyways'."
I'm not sure where I first heard this quote, and a quick Google search didn't turn up any definitive answers, but regardless of where it originated it's still spot on. The only thing that will ever get rid of your fears is standing up to them. Because it's often the unknown itself that scares us. And interacting with that unknown begins to familiarize us with it, which in turn makes it just a bit less scary.
My Unknown
Recently a co-worker and good friend of mine started talking about signing up for next years Lake Placid Ironman. And though he's in pretty good shape (running 8 miles at an 8:00/mile pace pretty regularly), he'd never done one before; so a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, and 26.2 mile run still seemed a bit daunting to even him. So, being the good friend I am, I offered to sign up for the Half Ironman if he signed up for the Full. Now, if you don't know me very well, you may be wondering why I didn't just offer to sign up for the Full along with him - well, that's where the fear part comes in...
For as long as I can remember, I've been terrified of drowning. And because of this, I never made the effort to learn how to swim. I can sit here and blame my fear of the water on many things (insert traumatic story about nearly drowning here) but that isn't what this post is about. This post is about conquering fears, not looking back at how they came to be. So, now that you're aware of my inability to swim, and along with it my innate fear of drowning, you can probably see why me volunteering to sign up for the Half Ironman in support of my buddy was kind of a big deal.
The Half Ironman consists of a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run - all distances I've never done individually, let alone back to back - but I wasn't too worried about the distances themselves. If you would've told me I could drop the swimming if I tripled the bike and run distances I would've probably taken you up on it. Biking and running longer distances is just more pain and more suck, but they wouldn't kill me. This whole swimming thing on the other hand... But, I had already opened my big mouth and made a commitment, so here we are.
Time to Commit
As I'm sure you already guessed, my buddy ended up signing up for the Full Ironman. He's one of the nuttiest and all-around greatest guys I know, so he probably would've signed up for it regardless of my offer to join him, but I still like to think my willingness to dive in (pun very much intended) motivated him to do so even if just a little bit.
The Lake Placid Full Ironman is scheduled for July 22, 2018 and the Lake Placid Half Ironman is scheduled for September 9, 2018 (something we didn't even realize at the time of commitment - let's hear it for two trips to Lake Placid!). So that gives me a little less than a year to learn how to swim, conquer my fear of the water, and get into good enough shape to survive this whole thing. Easy right?
The Beginning of a Journey
I'm about one month into training at the time of writing this post, and I honestly feel like I haven't made nearly enough progress at this point - but that's ok. I've been taking swim lessons twice a week down at the local Y and I'm getting better with each lesson. The water is starting to become more familiar to me, and thus, I can feel that fear of drowning loosening its grip ever-so-slightly with every hour I put in at the pool. It's still there whenever I find myself venturing toward the deep end, but it's nowhere near as bad as when I first started a month ago. And even though it's still early, I've already learned a few things I believe are worth sharing:
- COMMIT: Making the decision to conquer your fear is the toughest part. And I mean really deciding to do it. I've ducked out on learning how to swim for 30 years because it's been easy to avoid situations where I'd have to. The only reason I'm doing what I'm doing now is because I've committed to something and someone that mean a lot to me. Without that commitment I wouldn't be doing this. Find a way to commit.
- IT WON'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT: Day one is tough. Day two can be even tougher. If you walk into it expecting it to be easy then you're probably not going to make it. Whatever your fear may be, it's taken years to develop, so don't think you're going to get rid of it by standing up to it once. No matter what it is, you're going to have to face it multiple times before it becomes familiar enough to not be so scary anymore.
- ANNOUNCE IT TO THE WORLD: Just like with any goal, the more people you tell, the better. Let everyone around you know that you plan on conquering one of your fears. Publicize it as much as you can. It'll keep you true to your word and give you a wide net of support.
- YOU'RE GOING TO SWALLOW A LOT OF WATER: This may sound like it's specific to conquering a fear of drowning, but it applies to anything really. I know I've already mentioned things not happening overnight, but I can't stress enough just how hard it can be. You're probably going to get discouraged. You're probably going to want to quit - to go back to your safe place - back to what's familiar. When that feeling hits you, just remember that it's part of the process. Remind yourself that you already knew it was coming. It'll make it a bit less scary when it happens.
- IT REALLY ISN'T AS SCARY AS YOU MADE IT OUT TO BE: If there's one take-away I find most important, it's that the thing I've been afraid of all these years really isn't all that scary after all. One month ago I would've had an absolute panic attack if I fell into the deep end of the pool. I would've been gripped by fear and frozen to the point of inaction. But that reaction would have been based solely on being put into a situation I wasn't familiar with. Now that I've been in the deep end, kept my head above water and survived; it's no longer quite as scary.
Remember that while courageousness comes in many forms, in the end it's all about facing the unknown. I encourage you to take a moment to think of what you might be afraid of. Go ahead, do it now. Got it? Good. Now go ahead and dip your toe in the water. It's not as bad as you think.