“Stress is one’s perception of their ability to handle a situation. You can handle anything, so don’t stress.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said this to someone and received a glaring look in return. It’s probably because I choose to say it to the person when they’re obviously in a high-stress moment and the last thing they want is a lecture from me on how easy it is to control their perception of the situation they’re dealing with. They usually end up looking something like this:
Babies always seem to be disappointed in me…
Seriously though, while I do believe my advice is actually true, I realize that I’m probably delivering it at the completely wrong time. Stress itself isn’t a bad thing. It’s what allowed our ancestors to survive when a saber-toothed cat was on the horizon and it’s the thing that allows us to avoid a car crash by slamming on the brakes just in time. Without stress triggers, we probably wouldn’t survive very long. So why is stress considered so bad then? Well, there are two types of stress - acute stress and chronic stress - with the former being the “good” stress and the latter being the “bad” stress.
There has been a ton of research done on this topic by people a whole lot smarter than me, so I’ll try to avoid getting into a science lesson here. Just know that acute stress happens in the moment, typically due to some event or trigger, and is usually over very quickly, while chronic stress is something you carry with you and is often caused by circumstances rather than situations. Someone pointing a gun at you and asking for your wallet would most likely trigger acute stress, while bills piling up at home and the inability to pay them might cause chronic stress.
Here’s a cute puppy just in case you were starting to feel stressed by reading this.
So back to my original quote. “Stress is one’s perception of their ability to handle a situation.” - the key word here is perception. Stress is nothing more than what you perceive a situation to be. When you get hit with waves of bad news or fall on tough times, it’s easy to perceive the situation as insurmountable, and at that moment it probably is. There may not be any immediate action that can help you pay off the mountain of bills that have piled up over the past six-months, but doing nothing but worrying about them isn’t going to solve things either.
The first step is to change your perception. Instead of thinking it’s the end of the world, ask yourself what you can do to change things. The only way your circumstances are going to change are through action. You need to do something in order to change something. Remind yourself that it’s really not the end of the world. And rather than perceive yourself as the victim of bad circumstances, instead perceive yourself as being in control of your own destiny.
Easier said then done, I know. But I’ve found that even the smallest actions can help you begin to regain that sense of control. Do something that helps make your situation even just 1% better. Call the credit card companies and find out what your options are. Have a conversation with your coworker who you feel has been treating you unfairly. Whatever your circumstance is, there’s probably some small action you can take that will begin to give you a feeling of control over your life, that will help begin to change your perception about whatever has been causing you stress. And the more control you take, the more your perception will change. It’s really just about reminding yourself that you are in control, and being willing to take the first step to prove it.
Remember, stress is one’s perception of their ability to handle a situation. You can handle anything, so don’t stress…